Crystal Merritt 
The challenges of motherhood look different for every mom. But one thing generally remains the same; our schedule always leaves room for a little mom guilt. I’ve struggled with feeling mom guilt more often than I’d like to admit. These feelings tell me that I’m not good enough, that I’m failing my children, or that I should be doing more. To counteract these thoughts, I have started integrating daily affirmations into my routine.
What is an affirmation?
Affirmations are similar to mantras. They’re statements to counter negative thoughts. Affirmations are used to encourage positive change, challenge obstructive ideas, and boost self-esteem. The research behind affirmations (essentially the “self-affirmation theory”) proves that when people practice self-affirmations, a part of the prefrontal cortex in the brain (responsible for positive valuation and self-related information) becomes more active!
Here are 5 encouraging affirmations to survive everyday mom guilt:
I am doing my best, and my best is good enough.
I have come to realize (but sometimes still struggle with-) the fact that I can’t do it all. There are not enough hours in the day, and some things are simply out of my control. What I can do, is tell myself I’m doing my best. If I show up everyday, that’s enough for me. This affirmation reminds me that I give my best everyday. As a mom, I am pulled in a million different directions. Every day is filled with a new challenge. I’m doing the best I can. (And that’s good enough!)
I am doing a great job.
Amongst many of the messages in my head, never have I thought of telling myself “You are doing a great job.” Often, I critique the decisions I make, or feel guilty for not offering my 100%, 100% of the time. This affirmation may be one that needs repeating multiple times…a day. But here’s the thing, I AM doing a great job. And so are you.
I am letting go of unrealistic expectations.
Unrealistic expectations. We, as mothers, know them well. I know I am constantly comparing myself to others. As a working mom, I am expecting myself to work like I don’t have children and parent like I don’t work. The additional demands of motherhood like planning birthdays, trips to the library, calling back relatives, are all things to add to my to-do list. Setting intentions and allowing myself to let go of unrealistic expectations will keep me grounded and present in my current season of motherhood.
I will not compare myself to other moms.
If you sit scrolling on your phone through numerous social media apps (no judgement), you may find yourself comparing your experience of motherhood to other moms. Remember, Instagram and Facebook are just highlight reels of someone else’s life. These are the experiences and moments they are allowing you to see. Don’t set unhealthy expectations on yourself or your children. There are different seasons of motherhood and everyone has their own experiences.
It’s okay to say motherhood is hard.
This was a tough one for me. I think I still have trouble with overcoming the “perfectionist” in my mind. That voice tells me things should be perfect. That voice tells me I’m failing if things are not perfect, especially as a mother. So, this affirmation reminds me that it’s okay to say motherhood is hard. It’s okay that I chose to be a mother, yet, it’s harder than I expected. When I have opened up about my struggles, is the time I feel most supported by other moms who have struggled with similar thoughts. Most often, we are made to feel as though we are not allowed to feel these things, or speak negatively about our challenges.
How to make time for your affirmations
Setting time aside for yourself is tough, I’m sure. I like to schedule “me time” into my day. Be creative with your schedule, maybe your time is before the kids wake up in the morning or during their nap time. My time is after my husband gets home. I like to sit in the garden and have time for myself. It also helps me to journal; light some candles and recite these affirmations daily.
When can you find time to say your daily affirmation?
