Andrea Brenes When I think about the word Thanksgiving, I associate it with family, love, food, and maybe some more food! But it also reminds me of all my childhood memories of standing around the dining table and everyone going one by one saying what we were grateful for that year. It’s been a tradition in our family for years, and as a kid, I hated it. I just wanted to get to the part where we got to eat! Now that I’m a mother, I’ve continued this tradition with my own kids, because it’s important to remind ourselves of the blessings we experience every year. Last year in particular, I appreciated what it was to give thanks for that year’s blessings more than usual.
“For the past 7 months, I had been carrying a child for an amazing couple whose dream of becoming parents was about to come true… just not the way we thought it was going to happen.”
Just a few weeks before Thanksgiving, I delivered a sweet baby boy at 29 weeks gestation. It was an unplanned, emergency c-section after I had already been hospitalized for 10 days. To make matters even scarier was that it wasn’t my child. As a surrogate, I had a vision of what this moment was going to be like. I can assure you it wasn’t this! When I first decided to become a surrogate, all I could ever picture was the day that I would go into labor and hand the parents their little bundle of joy.
Delivery Day
When my doctor came into my hospital room the morning of October 28, 2021, the last thing I expected was for him to tell me “We’re delivering tonight”. Surprisingly enough, I was calm, scared, but calm. I immediately called the parents, who were thousands of miles away, and told them to get to Miami as soon as possible. They booked the first flight they could, but they weren’t going to make it for the delivery. Although I wished they could be there, I was comforted by the fact that my husband was going to be by my side during the delivery.
A few hours after I was told it was D-day, I was wheeled into the OR. It wasn’t as cold as I had thought it would be. When delivering preemies, they make the room warm. There were so many people in there, I can’t even remember how many. The nurses were buzzing around, the anesthesiologist was preparing my spinal block, and my OB was gearing up.
When my husband finally came into the room, he kissed my forehead and told me it was all going to be all right. Less than 5-min later my doctor said, “Baby Out”. I waited what seemed like a lifetime to hear the baby cry. And cry he did! Tears flowed down my face, I kept asking if he was okay. My husband updated my family & the parents. They had just landed and were on the tarmac at MIA airport. It’s hard to imagine what they were going through at that moment, not being able to be there. My husband went with the baby to the NICU while my doctor closed me up.
An hour or so later, my husband and the baby’s parents met me in recovery. It wasn’t the joyous moment I had always envisioned, but here we were. I was high on pain meds & nauseous; they were riddled with fear and anxiety. They weren’t allowed in the NICU yet, so all they could do was wait.
Recovery & The Future
That first night of recovery was tough. I had never had a c-section, and I was trying to get my body to produce milk before it was ready to. The next morning, I spoke with the parents. They told me the baby was doing great, all things considered. There were still so many unknowns, and he had a long way to go. I got to visit him in the NICU for a few minutes. He was so tiny at 1lb 6oz. He had so many tubes attached to him, you could barely see him under it all. The next day, I went home, just in time for Halloween! It was the most incredible feeling ever!! I had been away from my babies for 12 days, unable to see them in person.
Three weeks later, we gathered around the dining table as we did every year for Thanksgiving. But this year, we had a new family join us. We had the intended parents standing around our table. I was filled with so much gratitude. Gratitude for what my body had done for me, for the intended parents instilling their trust in me to carry their son, for my family who supported me every step of the way, and most importantly, gratitude towards God who spread His love over all of us to ensure that we were all safe. Their son still had so much growing to do, but we were grateful he was alive and healthy!
Looking Back
A year has gone by now, and it’s crazy to think about everything our families have done together since the little guy’s birth! We’ve visited, gone on vacation together, planned future vacations together, and most recently, we celebrated a huge milestone, his first birthday! My family and I traveled up to where the family lives. We stayed in their house and helped prepare for the party. I had the honor of making the birthday cake!! It was a special time together, and again, the joy and gratitude I was filled with are hard to describe.
As I look back and continue past my surrogate journey, I will eternally be thankful for the bond that our families have created. Surrogacy brought us together. It could have ended there, but we chose to strengthen that bond and now, we are forever family. For that, I give thanks during this Thanksgiving season.
If you have room in your heart to help another family complete their dream of becoming parents this holiday season, I would love to speak to you more about the process of becoming a surrogate!
